I admit. I wanted somewhere I could tell my opinions, my dreams, my unrealistic decorating desires, my recipes (even my failed ones), my thoughts, my creativity, my ambitions, my failures, and well . . . .just a place to get downright awkward and vulnerable. So what better place to start than a public blog? (insert sarcasm)

Ok I admit, even creating this blog gives me a little anxiety but I think it'll be good for me. I admit furthermore that I actually had to get on my ipads notepad, type in the word 'awkward' to make sure I had spelled it right. Luckily I had. So there's my first embarrassing confessions for the day.

Sorry, SQUIRREL! (another word I just had to spell check). Back to vulnerability. So since blogs are usually put together nicely with beautiful pictures and DIY ideas, and recipes of their great dinner success's, I need to warn you, this is not that blog.

I'm just going to get downright awkward sometimes. Maybe you'll squirm when I tell you that I didn't like the 'wear pants to church' movement by women in the church. It might get more awkward when I tell you I've been known, more than once, to stuff 3 days worth of dishes in my pantry just so my visiting teachers wouldn't know I haven't kept up the house. And I can guarantee you, you will consider rolling your eyes and clicking that red box with an x in it on your right upper corner of the screen, when I tell you that I have the same load of laundry sitting in my washer a WEEK after I put it in there originally and I've washed it nearly every day because I forgot about it the day before.

So if you're still here. . . .Welcome :)

So here's my first little 'shame' kick.

I just ate 15 vanilla cookies while sitting in the pantry with a glass of milk.

I don't let my kids eat the last Swiss cake roll. I hide it for later.

I didn't make my kids do their school today. I was too tired.

I didn't get out any Christmas decorations besides the Christmas tree. My wreaths have been sitting on my table for 3 weeks.

My bathroom has been partially painted for 6 months and every week I've had intentions of finishing it.

I had to look up long division for Aidan's school because I couldn't remember how to do it.

Sometimes I will make a cake just so I can eat a pound of the batter. (yes, I am aware of the sweet tooth theme I have going here. . .it's an addiction confession for another post on another day)

There are so many things that go through my head that allow me to define myself as a selfish or not enough. A five minute conversation with the supermom next door and we go home determined to finally get control of our lives. And then, to jump start it, we grab the last carton of rocky road ice-cream and turn on sense and sensibility to make ourselves feel better.

Well enough of that crazy business. From what I understand, even the super decorator bloggers spill paint and snap at their kids once in a while. (I'd LOVE to hear a post on that one)

So this is the get real and get awkward blog. It's the most invigorating and satisfying journey I've been on. Getting real with myself and being ok with imperfection. I get kinda irritated when people tell me my life is 'so put together' and I seem to 'have it all'. Well guess what? My life is chaotic and stressful and frustrating, and wonderful and full of joy and happiness. But it's topped with crushed fruit loops, spilled milk, dirty bathrooms, and tillers that have sat in my garden for 13 months straight with good intentions.

It's topped on top of that with a lot of hugs, books, laughing, traveling, kisses from my sexy beast husband, and snuggles with the cutest 5 children to have ever walked this planet. I do have it ALL! The good the bad and the ugly (and the cute).

Thanks for sitting with me. Stay tuned.