This morning has already been chaotic and crazy. Does anyone else wake up to children fighting?! GRRR!!! My frustration lasted all of 15 minutes until my little daughter came in my room wearing her princess dress, moon boots and chocolate milk spilled all down the front of her. My first thought was "oh my china town she is so stinkin cute". My following thought was "If there's that much chocolate milk spilled down the front of her, I wonder whats waiting for me downstairs".
Being a mom is exhausting. And awesome.
I think we need to get over one serious false belief in our society. If we reach out and need to vent a little about the frustrations of motherhood, this does NOT mean we don't value being a mother! I have been DROWNING in guilt for years over this concept.
There are days I really am just so exhausted, and so worn out from being covered in spit up, lacking a shower for 3 days, crunching cereal when I walk, or looking at the ENDLESS mountain of laundry that has permenently swallowed my bedroom. Sometimes I just have to lay on my bed, lock my door and attempt to ignore the children banging on the outside demanding to come in. Sometimes I need to get out a good cry and punch a few pillows.
And ya know what? I'm not a terrible mom for giving myself a lockdown in the bedroom for 10 minutes. In fact isn't that a sign you're an awesome mom because you care so much and are trying so hard? And it certainly doesn't mean I want any other job than to be a mom. I have more joy in my life with my children than I ever imagined I could have. But being frustrated and exhausted doesn't mean it takes away from my joy. It means God gave me a big heart with room for it all.
So. this is my morning:
Kids fighting
Lock myself in my room for 10 minutes and get out my cry ahead of time.
Help put on pretty dresses
Give Wesley a hug
Listen to Aidan tell me about the latest Full House Episode
Grab a slim fast for breakfast (but what I really wanted was a breakfast burrito)
Change poopy pants
Grab a bottle for Tommy
Clean AnnMaries 5000 books she pulled from her bookshelf
Remember I have a house showing at 12:30 and go into crazy psycho mommy "GET THIS HOUSE CLEAN RIGHT THIS SECOND AND DON'T GIVE ME ANY LIP ABOUT IT OR YOUR ALL GROUNDED FOR A YEAR" moment.
Frantically clean, scrub, throw dishes in the dishwasher, vacuum all the beans up from the 'dont spill the beans' game. .. .oh well . . .
Remember I had laundry in the washer yesterday. . .DANG not again.
Break up a fight over club penguin
Run the trash out so my house doesn't stink of old diapers and pull ups
Spill a new chocolate milk spill
Go into my 2nd psycho mommy moment of "I AM NOT KIDDING! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ROOMS CLEAN I AM GOING TO THROW YOU OUTSIDE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR SO HELP ME YOU KNOW I WILL" moment.
Remember there is spilled nail polish in my bathroom
Grab scissors and ever so carefull cut out each fiber of the carpet that has nail polish on it and then vacuum over it hoping you'll never notice. ARGH.
Run downstairs, throw coats on the children, buckle baby up, jump into the car, sit there for 30 seconds in silence when I hear my 8 year old say. "Wow mom. This is a crazy day".
We all bust out laughing and I rest my head on the steering wheel and I 'have a moment' to think what kind of therapy my children are going to have to pay for when they become adults. Holy smokes.
So now I'm sitting at my mothers, who is at a funeral I think, and she has no idea I have brought the tribe with me to take over her house for 2 hours while we wait and I stew about all the comments this couple is making about what a disaster my house is, why I have so many scuffs on my walls, and why that dang bathroom is still half painted.
Oh the guilt.
But when it gets down to it, I'm listening to my children laughing, and if the couple looking at my house is disgusted with it, I don't want them living there anyway. I need a family to come in, think what a wonderfully lived in house we have, and bring their crew of kids with them to live in a well loved, well used, and well worn home.

But now the thought crosses my mind. . .I think I may have left a little pile of florescent red stained carpet fibers on my counter top in a little pile to be thrown into the trash.
Oh boy.